My husband went to Sulaimanyia (Kurdistan, in the north of Iraq) for business, so I had to sit alone with my daughter here. It was very hard to me and him, but he could not take me since he will be so busy with his work besides the weather is very cold now in the north, he said he saw snow on the top of the mountains.
I usually get depressed every time he travel for work, he used to travel outside Iraq every year for work and stay out for at least a couple of weeks and sometimes more. This time it is different, not far away from me, and not too long only few days, but it’s still very hard. The situation we have, makes me unable to leave the house alone, besides I was so worried about him till he called me and told me that he arrived safe.
We will celebrate Eid Al-Adha next Friday which lasts for four days. It’s similar to the one we had two moths ago. In this Eid we celebrate the people who went for pilgrimage in Mecca. I don’t think it will be good Eid, things are very tense here.
As for my sister in Mosul, well they got sick from the bad situation they have, her daughter could not had one of her exams two days ago. and today she went but she couldn’t return back. she stayed at school till the headmaster managed to take her back home. My sister wishes to come to Baghdad but my parents are afraid from the road and they told her it’s better to stay in your house than to have the risk of traveling to here. and I don’t know what will she do.
The only thing that I did as a preparation for Eid is buying some candies to serve them with the coffee. and I bought clothes to my daughter, I don’t want her to feel that a bad thing is happening in Eid. my parents will not have Eid since my grandma died only recently, our traditions prevent us from that. the first Eid after a person dies should not be celebrated, I mean they don’t go out to visit friends, the friends visit my parents and wish them the end of all sorrows and my parents serve them coffee only with no candies or pastries. Women who are relative to the dead person should wear black clothes for at least 40 days. I hate to see people wear black clothes it reminds me of death. Also my father hates to see my mother wearing black clothes all the time, It is his mother who died but the traditions force my mother to wear the black clothes. For me I love my granny very much but I did not wear any black clothes, this will never bring her back to life again. some people wear black clothes for the loss of their beloved ones for a year or more, especially if that person was young. now you can see many women wearing black clothes, many young men are dying every day.
Well I hate to speak about death. that’s enough, lets change the subject.
My daughter was eager to see her father back home, she asked him to bring her three things from Sulaimaniya, a mobile phone and it was hard for us until we convinced her to buy her a mobile toy. and a gift (she left it to her father to decide) and candies. When her father kissed her goodbye to travel, she kissed him three kisses, he asked her why only three give me some more, she said I only asked you three things!!!!. Well today he returned back, he had a good time there. He brought her what she wanted. she was so happy.
About the elections. I still wish to participate in it and I still think about it everyday, should I go? what if I die? who will raise my daughter after me and her father, we will go together. I hate to think that way, but still it’s impossible to have the elections in Baghdad and the Sunni triangle. I’m afraid of civil war between sunni and shia if the elections are going to be held in time. Shia clerics have their own list and they are working very well in advertising about it. I still don’t know who are on the other lists and what kind of people I’m going to vote for. they did not make any announcement about them in papers or TV they are afraid of being killed. Except Dr. Allawi’s list, whom I will not vote for, he couldn’t do anything for us till now so why should I vote for him.
For me, my decision till this moment is not to participate. I don’t think it worth to sacrifice my life for it, it will not make any difference and you will see. It will make things worse than before. when the Americans passed the government to DR. Alawi everyone wished that things would be better, because he is Iraqi, but things are still not, they became worse and now it is the same thing, we have many terrorists in our country and they will not leave us whether we have elections or not. and we are still not ready to defend our own country and we don’t have qualified people to do it. every thing is a mess here. Till now my balance goes to my family.